7th March 1604
I wait on the docs for the boat I shall travel on to the new word. My hope controls my longing to stay with my family. My family is dieing of the little money we get each year. Though I am thankful I come here freely to do what my heart desires. The people I wait with seem alone for this is the first time many of our people travel on a boat. In England I am happy but alone, there is very little for all that hope to live. I am scared for this journey will not be an easy one. Many of us will die but those who survive will have great pleasures and happiness, i can only hope among those men that survive I could hold there hand and walk of the Mayflower together. My heart is worried for I hope that the little I bring with me is enough. The new world will help me and my family and maybe someday they will join me. My hope is to make gold for I do not have money like the lady. My small bag of gold will keep me company on this long journey. The ship is arriving, My eyes are weak but they have never failed me. In the distance I wait for the mayflower to approach.
29th March 1604
I have now boarded the ship to the new world. Many of us wish that this journey will be the best It can be but I fear the worst will happen. My materials have made me labor just so I can get on. I am missing my family for I'm scared without them. This fear holds me prison as I wait upon the May Flower. I have started wondering whether this is the best decision like many others. I know I must bring food to my family for we do not have much to pay for our little hut, but I long to go home and see my family. I am thankful that we have not been hurt but there is more to come. I miss the time my daddy would shout at me because I was naughty. Star Light he would scream my full name. I miss that because now he is with god. People do not understand me. The only one I can understand is Charlotte, who I feel is the most beautiful one on this boat, who is in my cabin. I am felling lonely. I miss all my friends.The tools I hold are making me a slave and I have just discovered one of my luggage's is gone. I must eat now for my hunger is my only killer.
12th May 1604
I cry alone in the deck of the boat. Hunger has taken over, nobody can survive this terrible disaster. I feel sick now more than ever. My disease has made many suffer and I fear I will go the way of my ancestors. My best friend must leave to say she s a laborer. I miss her more than I would ever think. My perfumes are running out and now nobody wants to be with me. I'm hungry and I wished I would have stayed home. A storm s coming and One person has died. I did not know them but I do know I might be the next. There is no land around us and I know I am dieing. I watch through the empty window and I can tell that a storm is coming. I will face the thing that is my night mare, death. My clothes are dirty and the other clothes are in the water near land. I have been so shocked to see the lady aboard. For she gets the best hospitality in England. Many are starting to suffer and mostly because of food. We are down to one piece of food a day and there is only enough to last u one more month. we are on rocky waters and nothing can save us now. We were going to reach 3 weeks ago but that is not possible. I am alone.
31st May 1604
I have not had a shower in so many months. Nobody seems to care now and it is becoming hard for me to make friends I do not have a sickness anymore but I do have. I have lots of free time so I spend It weaving baskets like my father did. But I still lay her crying for I believe I have broken one of the ten commandants 'thou shall not steal'. My stomach is starving and there is not enough food for everyone so I have had to take Thai neighbors food. I hope I can get of this bat for I'm starting to feel sea sick. More than ever now I miss my family and I hope I can see them again. I know I must be perfect to fit in and to make a living like I have come to the island for but I know we may not make it but now i must hope for the best. It is lights out now and I must go to seep.
11th July 1604
Finally we have reached land I am thankful that I have been blessed. I have not seen the natives but I am looking forward meeting them. I am hopeful that maybe they can give us advice on how to live here in peace. God has once again reminded me hope will come to all of those who seek it. And I do. Winter has coming and we have only started planting the food. I fear the worst but maybe god will be with me during the hard times. My life is terrible at the moment for I have just heard that my sister Jennifer has died. I hope to live during this winter ,not only for my self but for my family and friends. They can not eat with out me and the will suffer to find out my death I fear the worst on this island.
39th July 1604
I Hope god will save me but like many other here my hope is burning. My candle light hope can't seem to keep me warm and so far ore than half of them have died and winter is only starting. My parents must be worrying for the ship has left and I have no way to send anything to them. I ask my self now why I have left a great place like England. I should have listened to the crew members for now I feel I could die. I shiver here out in the could for the earth will not move enough for us to build a house. Many of us have lost our friend family and everything we care about but I still have Charlotte and she is strong and will not die soon hopefully. I wish to go back and i wonder why we can not.
July 15 1604
I am still having a hard time but I am so glad that I have been able to live through the winters. We have lost so much food and I cry because Charlotte has been swept of somewhere and I know I may never see her again. I am getting old to not have a husband and many encourage me to marry. My best friend Lila is 17 and she is younger with a husband. I know it will become harder to live in this place as a single and when our food supplies run out I do not know what we will do. I need a husband who can take care of me. I live near no one except the forest animals. I miss my friends back in London more than I could have ever imagined and I would rather die than live like this for ever.
July 31 1604
The sanitation is getting very bad and not many of us can stay clean which means we spread germs. I fear many more people will die now than they did in winter here. Because at least then we new sometime it would end. Thou I fear the worst I know it is not long before we are saved by god. The challenges are so much like the winter has come and we have lost to much to be able to feed our dieing men and care for those who have lost so much. The winter the germs. Life is hard and I know I, living in these conditions, might be the next for death to find. I am trying to earn a living so that death does not take me but It is hard and not many have been able to start work. I alone am a bit successful and day and night I practice the arts of basket weaving.
August 14th 1604
The sanitize solution is not getting better to quickly, but alas I am happy to say it is better from July. I know it may end this month and I am finally starting to see what god has planned for us. we have put up shields and we may have hope of surviving the coming winter. Thou before I would have been happier in England I am slowly seeing lope holes to help us survive the times. This is because We now have hope and I am free to earn money for my family who are forced out of work. England limited us but I am starting to feel like a free servant. though the situation that was death to most of us, is getting better we have new problems to face. Food is out and gone and since we are just moved in our tobacco is only just been planted and our fur traders do not know the right place to go to get animal fur and alas no meat.
August 30th 1604
now we are free from germs that spread for there is now a plant that is as pure as water on our skins. the problems about tobacco is still bad for now we have tobacco but there is a desire for more and this I fear will interfere with the natives territory. I heard they are getting angry with what we are doing to there land. The natives are watching our every move for I have wanted to go meet them and I went. i was warned they would attack and the people were right. I was but only argument and for that I am grateful. our argument ran alone on luck for I had lucky charms that would work to keep me safe and they were lucky they had more people than we did to attack.
November 2nd 1604
Winter is finally here and My theory was right. We are able to survive the harsh winters. Thou they are not as bad as Last winters. Our tobacco is growing humorously. People are coming from England right here and there is little tobacco left for our people. But there is two benefits from this. One for me and one for my colony. Maybe my parents will come for I have not heard from a month ago when I heard My mother was ill the other benefit is that we will have more people with us. We have to do chorus every day. This is the part I hate it is like being 7 all over again. I am exited to say my occupation is successful. This is because people need lots of baskets and the time practicing on the ship is helpful.
November 24th 1604
The practicing is helpful because on the ship I was sick and had nothing to do. I know of one basket weaver who never practices and poor him. He does not have any one at all come to him for baskets. Now Native people here are part of my daily life. Quite a few of them have been forced out and come to us for help. We have said Yes being the nice people we really are. They do the farming and all that stuff. But there is still not enough tobacco on our fields. I have one who lives right out side and this person I talk with since there is no one else close to me. But now we have laws which I hate the people here are starting to make me feel like I want to go back home to England. Almost but not yet and hopefully the rules will get better. I hope for luck here